07th July 2017

I went walking at lunchtime, not anywhere in particular but just moving around the streets. I wasn’t in search of a view, not an outer view anyway. I walked a long way and the more I walked the happier I became. My thoughts flowed freely. I was thinking about interest, how interesting the world is, how diverse, how changeable, how it offers itself to our imagination (as Mary Oliver would put it) and renews itself over and over. The world is an interesting place. I have always found it interesting, everything is interesting, there is always so much to learn. I realised, as I thought about this, that my whole life I have been unable to distinguish between what I find interesting and what I should pursue. I have pursued everything, I have followed every curious thought and I have driven myself crazy doing it. It is so hard to settle on one thing when there is always another interesting thing just drifting into my attention. Yet this interest, this desire, is pure distraction. I have failed to learn discrimination. Maybe it is time that I should, or maybe I should learn to observe all the interesting things around me without trying to claim them, to own them by knowing them. Maybe I need to become curious about not knowing, unknowing, about mysteries as mysteries and not puzzles to be solved. This itself was a puzzling thought. I have puzzled over it and I have no answers. It is a mystery. It is a good enough place to start.

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