18th May 2017

It’s early evening and the day has gone quickly and I am feeling like a person who is watching the sand run out of the hourglass, and I have to remind myself that time is not my enemy, that I do not always have to be doing something. Time is a medium, it is not an active force though we are often fooled into thinking it is. Time is like air, or like water in a stream. It flows around us, we sit within it and it passes us by and there is no way of stopping or controlling it, it does not care what we do. I am the force which acts on myself. I am the one who worries about inconsequential things. I am the one who feels like I must push against something and if I can’t identify the actual thing then time is a suitable substitute. It is classic displacement. I am the rock in the stream. I am the one standing at odds of everything. If I can only make myself like water or air, I can become what flows not the barrier or obstacle to be avoided. It is no use asking time to become something else. It doesn’t speak my language. It does not recognise what I am. How can it, when I don’t know myself?

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